so yeah, It is indeed a school night and yet, I can't do that whole sleep thing... oh wells. I'm sorry for my relative inactivity around here. I just keep seeing my deviation count and my message center expanding when ever I get the chance to breeze by, but I just haven't done much about it. I've been drawing (miracle of miracles) but its just enough to say I'm surviving. Let's just say that not having an art class this semester has been nothing short of murder. That and a number of reasons have just left me really discouraged

like, I've lately become discouraged in my coloring style. I'm just really seeing a whole lot of flat and boring where I really want to work in more flair and style... I think maybe I might try doing some more traditional and prisma work and seeing if that'll help translate into my digital coloring cuz right now, I look at all my shading and stuff and I just get annoyed and close out whatever I was working on.

There's also the big fanart block to consider. I'm not gonna lie, I'll look at fanart, but as far as drawing it myself, it's just not what I'm passionate about. However, I know that hard awful fact that if I drew more fanart, I'd get more attention, but that's not why I want people to look at me. It even comes from my own close friends, even though I know they don't mean to. They constantly hound me to draw fan comics and bombard me with other artists who draw fanart to where I don't even want to draw my own characters anymore.... It's that discouraging to think that even my own friends would like my art better if it was more fandom based instead of the ocean art or just fantasy art I love so much pour so much effort into.

At long last, there's just been a lot of stress (big surprise) in just about every social facet of my life to where it's difficult not to let it bog me down. Ironically, it's not the severity, but the sheer volume of individual situations that I've been finding so overwhelming to where I'm just flat out exasperated to where I wanna give up and just isolate myself entirely>.< The only upside is that I'm trying to get a couple of my friends to join up here on dA, but I'm pretty sure they're sick of hearing me seeing as neither of them have even come close.

so meh... I know nobody like to read this kind of junk, but I'm trying to be as art-angst centered rather than just pure angst centered as possible just so you, the few the proud, and the much appreciated can get a heads up to my extended absence. All the same, I'm gonna stop right now before this really makes me look like an idiot.